I just read a piece in The Washington Post about the Sandy Hook shooter, Adam Lanza, and his mother, Nancy. It gave me chills. It made me sad, and it made me angry.
Parenting is one of the hardest things in the world to do, because walking that fine line between loving and enabling is as tricky as traversing a tightrope over Grand Canyon.
We can enable anyone: our partners, parents, lovers, or friends. But when it come to our children, we are particularly vulnerable. We want to give them everything they need. Those needs, however, often merge with their wants. We confuse doing what we know is best for them with doing what they think is best for them.
And, unfortunately, the catastrophic consequences will not be denied.
I beseech each of you to read the article by Ruth Marcus. Just click on the word “piece” in the first sentence to follow the link.
A very dear friend of mine once told me that our children will allow us to do for them just as much as we will do.
That phrase might be one we all need to post on our personal bulletin boards.
Shalom.
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